Memo to the men in our lives:
1. On Day 1, we don't say what we mean and we don't mean what we say. Embrace ambiguity (while diverting our direct confrontational gaze).
2. Best to keep your distance.
3. Lag time in text and VM responses will be viewed as unacceptable. Be forewarned.
4. We are oppressed by everyone and everything. It will pass. (By Day 2.)
5. This hormonal thing? It's WAY bigger than us. Perhaps you can imagine that we are Someone Else, someone challenging, complicated and complex for a day (and make that work for you).
6. Salt is good. Cook us food with a LOT of salt. Salt licks not beneath us today.
7. When all else fails, employ humor and know that we will laugh with you again (but not today; no f'n way).
8. The glass is not only half empty today, it's shattered. Agree with us unequivocally on this.
9. We still love you without condition; we're just not acting like it.
10. Choreplay = triple points today. To be redeemed on Day 3-4.
This too shall pass ... in, say, a decade? Meanwhile, bear with us.